The Terrible 2s

Micah threw a major tantrum this morning that lasted 30 minutes at maximum volume complete with dramatic antics, and it just wore me out. It's been quite a while since he'd had one of those, mainly because we've learnt how to handle them with him.

Kids are such a blessing, but they push you to limits you didn't know you could get to. And for mums especially it's such a whirl wind of emotions - wanting to just smack the child in sheer frustration, wanting to cuddle them calm, and when it's all worn you down, breaking into tears because you just don't know what to do. With your first child especially it can throw you totally off if your little one is as dramatic and strong-willed as mine.

I know the thing to do is to just ignore them and let them go through it 'til they're done. It's just part of growing up, and them not being able to communicate well yet. But with Micah he can go on for ages, and i really believe that can somehow have a negative impact on him.So we decided not to ignore him but instead calm him down way before it gets to the point of no return, like it did today. It's worked so far - less major tantrums and better communication.

The main thing was realizing that we as the parents were the ones actually driving the tantrum further along and had to change our approach. I honestly think your toddler may start the tantrum, but your reaction drives it. Take a minute and just think about that. How do you typically react to your child's tantrums? Irritated, angry, confused, embarrassed... all that negative energy only feeds the tantrum.

Rather than get sucked into reacting negatively and getting worked up, we would stay calm and maintain control of the situation. It is not easy to keep a cool head when your toddler's acting up, especially when you've not had a good night's sleep or when you're knackered after a busy day. I understand. But even on those days when your patience is running thin, you just have to fake it with your tone, and maybe step out of the room to take a deep breath, say a short prayer, regain control of yourself and walk back into the room looking like 'heavenly mummy'.

Apart from being calm and staying in control, you also need to get smart. Distraction. You need to veer their attention away from what their frustration was to something else that will capture it. And i'm not talking about bribery. Don't ever give into that easy trap, because you'll create a monster, and these kids are way too smart for you to put yourself in a submissive position with them.

Today(although i must admit i took way too long to respond appropriately, rough night), i walked away from him, looking calm, with hidden clenched teeth ('heavenly mummy' effect in play), and started building something with flowers and plastic cups, exclaiming in excitement about the fantastic castle i was building, he stopped crying and looked at me curiously, then i invited him over to help put more flowers on. He came over looking a little embarrassed, and i scooped him up gave him a kiss on the cheek so he knew he was in my good graces. We then proceeded to put the last flower on, and went in for a nap. That was that.

You can of course communicate and explain that what he was doing was not good, but pick the time. When he/she has calmed down well enough.

All this is just from my experience and how we've learnt to cope with our son. It's always good to hear from other mums because we all have different ways of doing things.

How have you dealt with the 'terrible 2s' with your little ones?


Lots of Love, Mel